the aperture game show
by thecloakedhacka
Summary: as GLaDOS is getting more interested in the smartness of people across different realms, and placing them in a gameshow called ARE YOU SMARTER THAN WHEATLY.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the computer (if you would call it a comuter) I am working on. So don't sue me please

_On the TV as you are watching the great life of Zack and Cody the screen blurs to a black screen with a Aperture-Science-logo-esque thing displaying: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN WHEATLY_

_A faint tune of game show version of Still Alive music plays_

Host: Heelllo every one, and welcome to the pilot episode of, ARE YOU SMARTER THAN WHEATLY

Wheatly: what? I thought I was going to, CAN YOU KILL CHELL?

Host: nope, you here, so deal k. and I am your host Intel sphere, and our guests to day ,thanks to… (Dreamily) Sheri… (Then hastily) oh and Hacka; the Zelda crew, with link, Gannon and ZeldAAAAAHHHH

_Fake crowd of turrets 'clap' and in a puff of smoke the Zelda cast appear_

Link: unnggg where am I?

Host: you are in the game show ARE YOU SMARTER THAN WHEATLY; the games will go like this, I ask a question, and you have 154,534,623,453,623,450,003.1415926535897932384626433832 795… minutes to answer a question, if Wheatly answers the question first, you all get -1 point, if you answer the question first, you get a point, so on to the Qs

_A panel comes out of nowhere displaying points_

Host: q#1 what is the math equation that always gave you 1,089 what would it be?

Gannon: easy abc -cba=def+fed when abc are different numbers and a is bigger than c ex: 543-345=198+891

Link: ?

Zelda: when did you learn that?

Wheatly: ЧТО?

Host: correct locks like the brute isn't a dumb one, makes sense, he is the equivalent king of Muslims in earth, which were very smart

Link: but he is the king of only wom-

Host: SEXIST REMARK; -1859 POINTS

_The scoreboard under links name begins whine and make noices_

Host: oh great that low of a score broke the score board, bring in the technician.

_A russian comes out of nowhere and hits the scorboard_ _ repeditly until it stops making noise_

Russian: vel hgeerd ve gho , zat shuuld ghet rdid uv ze prdohplem :?

Guests: …

Host: translating; well here we sandwich, peanut should get zebra of the beluga whale (a black screen flashes on screen saying Google translate)

Guests: … wot?

Wheatly: ahhh I get it; well here we sandwich, peanut should get zebra of the beluga whale, it makes sense now

Host: Q #2 if there was call of duty black ops 2 would you buy it

Link: yes I wo-

Host: CALL OF DUTY FAN, - 9000 POINTS

Link: DAMN IT

Everyone but link: no I would not

Host: Q#3 where was link born?

Zelda: in a hylean hospital, in the room next to me, #231

Host: correct, link; NOT KNOWING WHERE ONE WAS BORN, -141

Link: WHAT IS THIS, A LINKIST CLUB

Gannon: I wish

Host: Q#4 where is the center of the solar system

Link, Gannon, and Zelda: solar hubua?

Wheatly: the earth

Host: corec-(_reads something)_ - maybe, is that you final answer

Wheatly: ye-

_Space core falls out of no where_

Space core:NOOOOO THE SUN IS I HAVE SEEN IT MY SELF (self destruct)

Host: I take that and Wheatly's answer, which is correct, -1 point to every one

Link: bu-bu-bu-

Host: UNINTELAGENT GIBERISH, -2000 POINTS

Link: …

Host: Q#5 what is the sound of a badger getting mauled by 1000 tiny caterpilers

Link: uhhnnngg

Host: MAKING SUGESTIVE NOISES –3000 POINTS

Zelda: nyyyyaaagggg

Host: nope

Wheatly: rrraahhhhgg

Host: neyt

Gannon: ahffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

_The ground shakes, the sky darkens, thunder strikes, a bird chirps, a deer takes a dump, and a whale farts, and a couple breaks up because of the dishwasher arrangement at that exact moment_

Host: that is correct, Q#6 is-

Link: let me guess, the question is (in a dumb sounding M.S. text to speech) how many points link can lose dur hur

Host: INTERUPTING QUESTION, -2000 POINTS

Link at least I am not on 20001 points

Host: DUMB IMPRESTOIN OF HOST -1000

Link: still not o-

Host: for old time sake, -1000 POINTS

Link: ill just shut up now

Host: question #6 is what are the notes to in the 9th and 10th bar in the song of storms?

Zelda: d e d, d e d

Host: correct Q#7 is a speseal question, it is the last one, it is worth 20003 points; what is the lafasp-ak equation?

Link: I think I know, (nine times three divided by the number of siblings you have times one-hundred-twenty-two plus thirty-four minus one) times twenty-one over one-hundred times one point five is what?... I think

Host:… that… is… correct, link…won

Link: YYYYYYEESSSSSSSSS I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, yeah I won, in your ffface, I won.

Host: ok then thank you all for watching thin mandatory TV show, if you wonder why we hacked every TV station in the world, don't ask,

Announcer: now back the great life of Zack and Cody

Thank you for reading please review this and my truth or dare fic, you can post dares and stuff here, for the ToD and I will except them, also please watch me and my friends videos on you tube at pcnmac4u

bye


End file.
